"ICE BREAKER-PINOY TEXT JOKES IN THE PHILIPPINES"

My cellphone inbox is already full so I have to delete the dormant messages and put it to something useful. Well, majority of the saved messages that have been there for a time are forwarded so-called pinoy text jokes from friends. I have kept of course the good ones that to me would really provide some ice-breaker for a-day’s workload. Stuff that would still make you burst into laughter even if you already have read it a couple of times over. Have thought at first of making a widget for these stuff and place it on my blog that would just update automatically once loaded with new stuff but I could not find any that would readily suit my needs. So?? I just have to share it with you folks through this post. If there will be new addition, I’ll just have to edit this post later and republish it. Million thanks to my good friend ERMOND “MOI D BAD TRIP GUY” DELA RESMA for sharing some of his collections also here. So, here we go…….

“Titser: Use ‘Anyhow’ & ‘Anyone’ in a sentence.
PACQUIAO: Hoy Pedru! Bakit mu kinain ang ‘Anyhow’ na ‘Anyone’ko jan sa mesa? para ke Jengke yon!”

“A guy was setting up his new e-mail account while his GF sat beside him.Feeling all MACHO, he put in “PENIS” as his password. His GF fell off her chair when the error message registered as…………………………..PASSWORD TOO SHORT!!!!!

“A bear, a lion and a pig were talking who’s the most feared?
BEAR: I roar and forest trembles!!!
LION: I roar and the jungle shakes!!!!
PIG : I cough and the whole world panic!!!!

“APO: La, bakit mas mabilis pumuti ang hair sa itaas kesa ibaba?
LOLA: Kasi apo, sa itaas puro problema, sa ibaba puro LIGAYA!!!

“TATAY: Nak, painumin mo yong kalabaw.
ANAK: Opo itay! (Maya-maya…..)
ANAK: ‘tay ayaw uminom ng kalabaw
ITAY: Bakit? San mo ba nilagay ang tubig?
ANAK: Sa baso po!
ITAY: Susmaryosep! Dapat nilagyan mo pa ng straw para sulit ang katangahan mo!

“REPORTER: Ngayong nanalo ka MANNY, ano ang pasalubong mo ke JINKEE?
MANNY: Ibon syimpre, mahilig sya run eh…
REPORTER: IBON?? Anong klaseng ibon?
MANNY: Yong mga lepstek,pang-meyk-ap basta mga IBON products…

“Ako ay simpleng tao lamang. Kumbaga sa bigas NFA lang. Hindi kagwapohan, hindi kasarapan,pero pinipilahan…..”

“X-BF: Can we be again?
X-GF: Shut up!
X-BF: Luv pa rin kita!
X-GF: Mov on! Naka mov on na aq!
X-BF: Loadan kita!
X-GF: Joke! Luv pa rin kita!
LOAD-moves in mysterious ways!

“BERTO: Uwi na ako at gusto ko nang hubarin ang panty ng misis ko!
JUANCHO: Hot na hot ka na pare?
BERTO: Hindi, masyadong masikip sa akin eh…

“NANAY: O,junior,puro ka pasa?! Basagulero ka talaga! Manang-mana ka sa tatay mo!
Sino bang naka-away mo?
JUNIOR: Si JAKE po,’yang pogi sa tapat.
TATAY: Halika anak! RESBAKAN natin!
JUNIOR: Huwag na po! Hindi na kailangan,Nakipag-break na ako sa kanya! Hu! Hu! Hu!

“When asked if I preferred legs or breasts,I told a man thatI had a particular liking for for hairy pussies. He replied this was not an option when choosing a KFC BUCKET MEAL.”

“Three reasons why chocolate is better than SEX:
1.Chocolate satisfies you even when soft
2.U can have it in front of your parents
3.It won’t mind if u bite hard on its nuts

“Stress Test: Which mouse has two legs?—Mickey Mouse
Now which duck has two legs?—If u thought Donald Duck then u are under stress. All ducks have two legs!”

“INAY: Masakit ba ang libreng TULI mo?
NOY: Hindi po Ma.
INAY: Bakit ka pa umiiyak?
NOY: Kasi po, nilagyan nila ng TATTOO bird ko, “PROJECT OF PRESIDENT GLORIA MACAPAGAL-ARROYO”

“ADVICE FROM DENTISTS: Treat your boy/girlfriend like a tootbrush….Don’t let anybody use it…but change it every two months.”

(More to come soon)

DISCLAIMER: D3Marketers is not claiming authorship for this jokes and all the materials posted herein are just forwarded mobile messages from friends and relatives for fun.

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